Katie Goes...

RESURRECTION ~ The blog is back

2012-02-07T12:44:00.001-05:00

How is it possible that two years have passed? The last thing I was doing here was showing the Australian film KANYINI around the Northeast, and now, here I am going back to Australia to stay with the subject of the film, Uncle Bob Randall! How to explain the last two years..there is no time, let me sum up: Met a man at the SFO airport bus stop, ran the VIP room at HATCH fest Asheville, Man from bus stop came to visit me in North Carolina, I packed up my car a month later and drove to California- where I was a waitress...again, I volunteered at the "Healing Our Spirits Worldwide" conference in Honolulu- where the man asked me to marry him...I said, "Yes", we moved to Sebastopol, CA- where I got a job doing events for a bookstore, met Robert Moss- who wrote "Active Dreaming", which changed our lives, flew back to Asheville to get hitched, flew to Maui to get honeymooned, then life slammed us with all sorts of crazy, then Uncle Bob Randall came to L.A. and we drove down to see him, now am leaving the bookstore in capable hands and Brian and I are going to Uluru, the Red Centre of Australia to stay in Mutijulu Community for three months. What the world holds after that, I have no idea!

First to the mountains near Tibet

2010-10-21T13:34:00.000-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything, a whole lifetime has happened since I last wrote here. Before I get into that though, one of my best friends just returned from the most incredible life-changing trip in China. And the project she is creating is truly awe-inspiring:

http://www.foursistersfilm.com/2010/10/elevations-alpine-school-and-outreach-program/

more from me soon...

Day 1 (four days late) through now (day 5, obviously).

2010-05-23T00:46:00.000-04:00

When I got back from Australia, I said I wanted to just pack up my car and drive around showing the film, KANYINI, but that was not practical. Lack of practicality is usually not a viable reason not to do something though, for me (though fun to say, not always best practice). :) So, last week, after my last day of work teaching GED students in Asheville, I was lucky enough to have a job catering a women's weekend at a retreat centre deep in the gorgeous Blue Ridge Mountains. So much happened there, that I don't even know where to begin... so i won't say anything. But, I do believe seeds were planted there that will find their fruition sometime in my future. <3

The morning after I got back, my Mom and I hit the road for Fort Belvoir, Virginia (just outside of DC). We went to visit my cousin Vinny (and that's the truth), and it was actually fun to stay on the base. Strange how growing up in the military comes back to you...

The real adventure began on Wednesday, when I loaded up my computer, a backpack full of books, and my suitcase, to venture into our nation's capitol. I love Washington (and after being in New York, I must say how much i love the escalators at the DC metro stations...), and I made my way to a coffee shop with Wi-Fi and set to work.

This wasn't the most organized trip, and while I admit that, it has been absolutely perfect and I've learned a great deal. The screenings have been small- but very meaningful. Life the Aboriginal anthem, "From Little Things, Big Things Grow...".

After many metro rides, walking up and down hills, a ride on the Chinatown bus to NYC, Long Island RR, Subway, and walking between 17th and 20th (across Broadway and through a parade)... I'm pretty ready to not carry luggage any more. But funny enough, it kind of feels like it's part of the process. My world is jam-packed with metaphors, so, this trip has given me much to work with. :)

Tonight, through an amazing confluence of events, and brilliant friends, I was able to have a screening at The Wild Project on E. 3rd. St. in the Village. It was amazing. There is something very satisfying and humbling about doing an event in New York City.

I'm now at my friend's house in Queens (we were roommates in London in a room the size of a closet, with four girls... did I mention how happy I am not to be 20 anymore?), and ready to give these tired bones a rest. I will dream of massage therapy...

The best parts of all of this have been the connections and conversations. I don't pretend to know everything, and the subjects of historical trauma, displacement, racism and violence are fraught with minefields- but, maybe some explosions of trapped consciousness wouldn't be a bad thing (at least then we could see the pieces we need to pick up).

Screening Aboriginal Film in New York City!!!!!!!

2010-05-21T00:23:00.000-04:00

Date: Saturday, May 22, 2010

Time: 8pm - Doors at 7pm

Location: The Wild Project

195 E 3rd St; (212) 228-1195)

http://www.thewildproject.com/

Suggested Donation: $5 - $10

"KANYINI"

written and narrated by UNCLE BOB RANDALL

TJILPI ELDER OF THE YANKUNYTJATJARA ABORIGINAL NATION

The evening will begin with a traditional Anangu welcome, and feature the film Kanyini, followed by audience dialogue

Plot Synopsis:

This documentary is based on the remarkable life and philosophy of Bob Randall, an elder of the Yankunytjatjara people of Uluru in Central Australia. It explores his idyllic early life, shattered when he is taken from his family as one of the 'Stolen Generation', and his journey since then. 'Uncle Bob' also explores the reasons for the tragic problems in many Australian Aboriginal communities today. While there is sadness and desperation, the film finishes with a sense of hope. Archival footage from the very early days of white contact with indigenous peoples is skilfully interwoven into the film. Written by John Haberecht, IMDB.com

About Uncle Bob:

Uncle Bob Randall is an elder, a “Tjilpi” of

the Yankunytjatjara Aboriginal Nation, and listed traditional owner of

Uluru, the great monolith in the Central Australian Desert. He is the

subject of the award-winning film, Kanyini, and the author of several books

including his autobiography, Songman.

Bob Randall is a

visionary educator, story-song writer, and bridge between the spirit

and science of ancient indigenous and modern, non-indigenous

cultures. A living legend, Bob Randall articulates the wisdom,

lore, and traditions of the Aborigines’ way of living sustainably, in

environmental, social, and political harmony with All Things.

In the early 1970s, his song “Brown Skin Baby" became an anthem for

Aboriginal Australians, and brought international attention to the truth of the

Stolen Generation.” Like thousands of other Aboriginal children, Bob Randall

was forcibly taken away from his family by white authorities at about

the age of seven and placed in a mission institution. Early in life he

began the long process of searching for his family and Aboriginal

identity. His experiences and a diverse education gave him a unique

perspective of two divergent cultures. This has led to a life of

service and leadership, working tirelessly for equality,

reconciliation, and peace through collaborative, cross-cultural

education and sharing. Bob Randall lives and teaches the practical

application of “Kanyini,” the Aboriginal principles of unconditional

love and responsibility, for all things.

About the Presenter: Asheville, NC local, Katie Kasben, was invited to visit Mutujulu community and stayed to learn from Uncle Bob at the end of her recent trip Down Under. Katie had the opportunity to listen to many Traditional Owners across Australia, and has come to understand a truer picture of life in Aboriginal Australia. Please join her after the film for a discussion about "KANYINI" and her experience with Uncle Bob. She is currently working to create an Indigenous Leadership Centre in Hawai'i to heal Historical Trauma through shared experience and service.

Yo. (a term of acknowledgement, affirmation in

Yolngu language)

Nhama. (goodbye)

Film Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvoAE27I9gg

An excerpt from Kanyini: Aboriginal Teachings From Uluru, Australia's Red Centre

By Kate Orchard | 18 July 2007

http://www.culture24.org.uk/history+%2526+heritage/art49129

Central to the film is Bob Randall, a Yankunytjatjara elder, teacher, activist, an Anangu (person of the Australian central desert).

"This is my BIG HOME and I belong here. My name is Bob Randall. And I'm an Anangu man from Uluru. My culture been around maybe 40,000 years.We're probably the oldest culture in the world. When Caesar and Christ were walking this earth. We were here, living in the moment. When Cleopatra was ruling on her throne. We were here, living in the moment. For thousands of years these things you think ancient, we were here, living in the moment."

Uluru (Ayers rock) a vast seductive red rock in the middle of the Australian desert. Around 75% of Australians want to visit this beautiful place before they die. Thousands travel to the heart of Australia's 'red centre' to see the sun rise over Uluru, the largest monolith in the world.

Yet aside from a token memorable photo or a mass-produced t-shirt 'dot painting' it is still easy to leave unaware of the untapped potential of Indigenous rural Aboriginal communities. The film Kanyini is a timely window into this world, and offers culture as the means for reconciliation, to make sustainable change.

One of the traditional Aboriginal owners and carers for Uluru, Bob Randall takes us on a journey to explain the concept of KANYINI meaning interconnectedness, through unconditional love with responsibility for all things. The film explores four areas that underpin this particular Indigenous way of living: 'Tkurrpa'- belief system, 'Waltja'-Family, 'Ngura'-land, 'Kurunpa'-spirit. These living cultural traditions continue to be passed on to care and sustain people, water, land and shores.

A still from the film showing Aboriginal Australians. Courtesy of the filmmakers.

"Our life was quite often very disciplined, we were trained to look after the ceremonies, the land and each other. That was important to our people... not to take more than you need and not to destroy anything that's there to the level that it cannot produce again. We are connected to everything else. And proof of that is being alive...You are never lost you’re never ever alone. You are one with everything that is there.”

Living on the sunrise side in the Mutujulu community right next to Uluru, we see Bob with walking with pride, merging with his 'country' where the stars are his roof, the wall as far as you can see to the horizon, and it is as he says 'very hot and very, very beautiful'. Snakes, lizards positively dancing.

Black and white archival footage merges with this present, the same places, like the very belief system, there is no past present future, no 'then' and 'now'. He reviews anthropological footage, 'as far as I can see we were healthy … because they lived in a beautiful way. In our way, Anangu traditional way’ children swimming and diving, elders strong, capable - all the signs of a thriving, healthy culture and community.

The story of culture clash has begun to be told in mainstream Australia in his lifetime - violent dispossession, killing, the loss of land, conflict for resources between pastoralists who fenced in land, and drove out natural sources of food. These, Bob says cut the ties of connectedness and responsibility.

It has been Bob's lifework to strengthen Kanyini. A living system of relatedness we all can learn from and share - the central message of this film. This was how he lived until he was forcibly taken, he doesn't know his age, but about 7 years old. He would not begin to seek family until over 30 years later. He never saw his birth mother again.

Young Aboriginal girls. Courtesy of the filmmakers.

His story typifies the impact of the government assimilation policy which led to 50,000 Indigenous children being forced from their families between 1910 -1970 'assimilated' as white Australians- now known as the Stolen Generations. It wouldn't have been possible had Indigenous people been granted normal civil rights -they were not recognised by law as citizens until the 1967 referendum.

Bob's Randall's own journey into cross cultural education and activism began with his song telling his mother's story My Brown Skin Baby - They Took Him Away. This song inspired an international documentary telling Stolen Generations stories. 15 years later an official public inquiry Bringing Them Home acknowledged the need to hear these experiences.

On his journey through 'country' to trace his roots many women stepped forward to claim him as their son. Bob realized the magnitude of loss, so many children were taken. Sadly the burden is still felt today and the film highlights these aspects, children forced to grow up in a wholly white-oriented system with no trace of their traditional ways.

To date 250,000 non Aboriginal Australians are supporting Native Title and Reconciliation and thousands have signed 'Sorry books'. Implicit in the word Sorry is another responsibility- not one of blame, or reprimand but compassion and action. For government official apology, the word 'Sorry' is surrounded by a debate that perpetuates the failings of past governance; to date the federal government has merely stated 'sincere regret'.

In 1950 at Nuremberg, (Germany) Australia signed the Genocide convention to prevent atrocities 'where intent to destroy in whole or part a national ethnical or racial group - included forcibly transferring children of the group to another group'. Yet it was 20 years later before they stopped taking Aboriginal children away, as Geoffrey Robertson QC maintains 'that in itself should be enough for an official apology'.

At the end of the film, Bob challenges us 'don't let my people die in vain'. He calls to mind the voices of elders of the second and first world wars so that such atrocities will never happen again.

June 2007 saw the Federal government pass a law for Northern Territory banning all Aboriginal men from alcohol and enforcing a compulsory medical examination to exclude sexual abuse of all Indigenous children under 16 years in rural communities (regardless of the evidence of alcohol misuse and abuse of each child). The Prime Minister John Howard has sent in troops to 'take control' of 60 Indigenous communities in the Northern Territory.

Tourists first visited Uluru in the 1940’s. In 1985 traditional owners were finally handed back freehold title, but Mutujulu, the Indigenous community on Uluru’s Eastern side, reap little of the lucrative income the tourism industry provides: "those of us living here on the eastern side seem to have nothing. Just travel to the other side, the sunset side and those people seem to be having everything. The contrast is vivid, it’s real”

Yet, the same government has over the last six years consistently reduced funds to these same communities for education, health and opportunities for self-management. The current Australian government 10 point plan continues to undermine Native title, in turn reducing opportunity for these communities to maintain the fundamental rights to manage their lands. At the same time it seems there is little challenge to the 30 mining companies prospecting for highly profitable Uranium in the same Northern Territory.

Communities do find their own solutions. In the time since this film was made the Uluru Mutujulu community has eradicated petrol sniffing by negotiating with the petrol company to use Opal fuel - that does not give the 'high' of octane based fuel. This is one example of cooperation and community driven change.

Bob therefore calls for a dual white and Indigenous approach. Rather than sending in troops, he argues they should support Indigenous people to manage and develop their own services.

Ultimately the Kanyini message reminds of our collective responsibilities. The notion of pilgrimage is not only a physical journey but one of transformation, action shaped by the spirit, heart and mind. As we move through our every day lives or as tourist visiting sites of unique natural beauty, rainforest, desert, coral reef, we can evolve our daily journeys, learn 'other' ways to act and understand the world.

In Kanyini as with all great stories, it seems we return to a 'place' we already knew, only to see it as if for the first time - that is with connectedness to the world we live in. And with that connection comes responsibility.

2010-03-04T00:42:00.001-05:00

a heart engaged

without a ring

scored with measures improbable

when touched

by incandescent flame

the certain seems impossible

a supernova in my chest

and unprepared

my senses reeled

leaving me bereft

of space

to hide in anonymity

one touch, one look,

a burning sear

that took my very breath away

unwitting your sorcerer's spell

has breached

my abandoned gateway to infinity.

II.

To fall and become

For the sake of love,

Yet missing the human connection,

Is the woeful gift

Of the girl in woman form

Yet to bloom from her

Mind to her heart.

Denied thus far

The bursting of flame

Through touch more than surface,

Dormant eros congealed

In practicality pumping daily

Unused blood through

Unenlightened muscle.

The smallest prick of

Sharpest gaze becomes

Bewildering flow of feeling,

Unable to be staunched

With usual thought

Gray matter deserter

In war unwinnable.

The dam broken, thank God,

Can never thus be repaired

Gratitude quells abandonment,

For finally, though seemingly left alone,

The physical understanding of connection

Explodes into a certainness

Of possibility.

- k

The sweat-lodge stream-of-consciousness

2010-03-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

I had a thought on all the crazy news attention paid to the motivational speaker after the deaths of people in his sweat lodge. In all the press, I never once saw an interview with a Native American person.

It brings up so many important conversations, but mostly how much we Westerners need to un-learn.

I had an amazing talk with a wise woman today that was somewhat liberating, and centred on the positive skills of the Colonists. Now, I have a gut/knee-jerk reaction to the word, "colonization", so this one was hard for me. It's just as hard as knowing that people of Indigenous descent are capable of being just regular human beings with base and mundane foibles and feelings.

So with my paradigms shaken up, I find myself at a unique place, and exactly where I should be. It's part of the unlearning. But it's also part of the Four Nations coming back together. There are rifts deeper than my imagining and historical trauma pervasive in Indigenous communities that I can barely comprehend. Yet, there is also historical trauma passed down to descendants of Western Colonial powers.

When I was in Vietnam I remember being struck so deeply by the violence depicted in the Saigon War museum (also the most objective museum I've yet to encounter). There was a picture of a soldier holding the heads of two Vietnamese people. My first thought was, "what must have happened to that young man to allow him to do that to another human being?". This is where it gets hard. I said this once before, and was misquoted by the local paper- which precipitated my ex-soldier neighbor to hate me and never want to speak to me again. How could I explain? I wasn't there when it happened, only after. Even though both my parents were military and I was born on a base in the South Pacific at the end of the war- how could I criticize a soldier? What if we take away sides and just have people? It makes me think of Christmas 1914, during World War I.

How did I get to Vietnam from a Sweat Lodge, then to WWI? Hm. Good question. How about a quote? "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation" - Johnathan Larson.

The healing has to happen on both sides. I don't know how to help this yet, but that's what I want to do when I grow up. What if we all made a space for authentic communication, beginning with true empathy. hm. That's a tough one. We're all shell-people. How do we break those shells? How about a world-wide exchange program?

Everyone on Welfare gets to run Congress, and everyone in Congress has to go on Welfare. Then one side gets to see how hard it is to "govern" and another side gets to see how hard it is to be hungry with no advocates, especially without a place to live. Then all of a sudden, there are no more "sides".

A question on the State of the Union~

2010-01-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

The State of the Union is an address by the President of the United States. As far as I know, it's not a debate. Why does the Governor of Virginia get a platform for a "rebuttal"???? Not that I agree with every single thing our President said, but I respect the office, and I was certainly inspired by his passionate oratory that was in excess of an hour.

Wouldn't it be so awesome if the American people tried thinking for themselves instead of looking to some news program to think for them? I guess people would have to watch it in the first place...

Kanyini~

2009-12-14T03:30:00.002-05:00

"Kanyini" is an Aboriginal word that means, "unconditional love and responsibility for all things". Seems like a good recipe for life. So, my brain has accepted that, "yes, I would like to live with unconditional love and be responsible for my connection to every living thing"... now what??!! My Western brain starts in with the questions, "well, what does 'living' mean? I mean, in some First Nation ideology, rocks are considered to have spirits, and, of course, the ground- that's Mother Earth. Right. O.K., now I'm in my car and someone cuts me off... well, my first thought isn't unconditional love.

So, there's the rub, then- how do you move from your head to your heart?

...

I know!!!

...

Practice.

A most humbling experience happened to me, quite unexpectedly, in a white, country town in Australia. I won't use names, but not to protect anyone. This could have happened to anybody (and hopefully will again!).

I took a road trip to visit a friend from school and ended up in a town famous for a 15 metre tall sheep. After a brilliant dinner of Thai food (naturally) we ended up playing pool into the wee hours. My friend's husband is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet, and he's also a real bloke. A man's man (I think I still have bruises from where he kept slapping me on the back). We got into a deep conversation (as is wont to happen when wine might be involved) and it came up that I had experienced a home invasion, and the trauma involved (not something I normally bring up at parties, but, it felt like something I was supposed to tell). All the emotions that came up for him, should something like that happen to his wife, were intense and quick. He then stated he would find the guy and kill him, and asked how I could even talk about it without being drunk all the time. *As a side note, another friend, at the time it happened, couldn't understand why I wasn't in a corner with a bottle of vodka. He lit up a cigarette and we went back to playing pool.

Later in the evening, under a starry Australian sky, three of us got into a debate about politics and the Aboriginal "issue" (which I have issue with, because people are not an "issue"- though I'm not surprised because before the 1967 referendum, Aboriginal people were classified under the "Flora and Fauna Act"). My new friend said, "wasn't that all sorted out, like, fifty years ago?", and though I normally would have gotten indignant, an amazing understanding settled over me and I calmly said, "actually, no, it's violence, racism and devastation, happening right now". Then someone said what usually makes me crazy, that favourite of shell-people everywhere, "but aren't they drunk all the time and lazy". Yep- I've heard this statement in many countries, including my own, and it is usually referring to homeless people, those on welfare or minorities. Hello opportunity for unconditional love.

I asked him to remember his earlier reaction to hearing about my traumatic experience (but just a horrible moment in time, through which I had incredible support, unlike so many Indigenous men and women who deal with life-shaking trauma every day). I didn't understand how it was o.k. for me to potentially use alcohol to deal with stress, and not people who are Aboriginal. Maybe they have a story like mine- but no one to help them, and a government that systematically disempowers and alienates them. What if a black man had his woman attacked? Wouldn't he want to fight?

My friend, who happened to be born white, said, "I hadn't thought about it that way".

Kanyini.

Back to America

2009-11-22T04:31:00.003-05:00

The thing about serendipity is that it follows you wherever you go~ and sometimes seeks you out! I was sitting at my favourite coffee shop (on Abbot Kinney) in Venice, and started a conversation with the guy next to me. I asked him how he could write and not be distracted (he was writing a screenplay), and he said it was about his life. Then he asked me my name, then looked slightly astounded. He turned his computer, and there was one of his characters just introduced: Katy. *Of course, the spelling is Way off, but that was pretty cool. Welcome back to Los Angeles...

Deeply felt stories~

2009-11-05T18:59:00.014-05:00

I was up with the sun this morning and watched the moon disappear into the brightening blue sky. It made me cry, but then I remembered it was only on a journey to the other side of the world and would come back again tonight. I've been recently contemplating relationships between men and women, and have been challenged in my coming to understand not only Aboriginal culture, but my own as well.

Uncle Bob and his beautiful wife Barbara joined me outside and we spoke of dreams. Two stories were recalled that have grounded me in peace and awe.

In the ancient times women held the highest law and were the most powerful beings- holding sacred lore, which they kept in a dilly-bag. They came to a pool of the Rainbow Serpent, a place which is so sacred that no one must disturb it, and to swim in it would be unthinkable. The women, so drunk on their power, disregarded the law and were laughing and splashing, and cleaning themselves. The Rainbow Serpent saw this and made them blind and deaf to the men coming up to the pool where they had left the dilly-bag hanging on a tree... so the men took it and became the holders of sacred power. But now the men are going down the same path,

so who knows what will happen next in the balance of power.

My first response was to be angry somehow, but what's the point of that? because then you lose the lesson. The lesson is humility- and if you take away your attachment to the ego, and wrap it with love, then it is a lesson that doesn't sting, but instructs.

The wind continued to blow as Uluru became more vibrantly red in the rising sun, and the spicy scent of the gum trees surrounded us. Out of a moment of stillness, Uncle Bob began another story:

Up in the top end of Australia there is an island with an abundance of the best seafood and

plant-life, but it is only accessible at what is know as "King Tide", or again in the full, still time before the water begins again to recede. The whole tribe goes across and spends the day collecting crabs and fruit and other delicacies of the sea, but one member is in charge of watching the time, so everyone can leave before the strait becomes impossible to cross. When the tide comes in, the island vanishes, so there is no other choice but to go into the water. Sometimes, people are greedy, and don't heed the time, wanting to find just a little more food or supplies and the entire tribe can only wait. At this point the water is rushing in and everyone must wait until it becomes still enough to cross- but it will be deep, almost over some people's heads.

During this time, rafts are made out of dried pandana trees and paper-bark for the women, children and food. When it is time to cross, the men form a "V" with the strongest hunter at the front and the women and children in the centre, the most protected spot, then everyone begins the journey across.

At this point I feel the energy at the table shift to one of profound sadness and grief, but also an amazing sense of love. Tears flow for all of us as Uncle Bob relates the end of the story.

The end of the formation is where the elderly people and animals cross. They choose this position, because when the water is that high, and dusk begins to fall, the crocodiles are everywhere. Everyone knows that the crocs take those at the back of the line, and the old ones choose to make that sacrifice for the whole group, the whole family. When everyone makes it to the other side, there are one or two missing, the old ones who offered their lives.

Then Uncle Bob said, "These are the people who raised me".

The wind continued to blow and tears washed our faces, and then we smiled and got on with the day. I'm humbled and grateful to be given the chance to understand unconditional love.

Wild Horses in the night...

2009-10-31T05:58:00.002-04:00

It was like being on Mars as the moon rose over the ridge. Twilight transported me to the story, "The Little Prince", and I felt as if a snake was going to come talk to me any second. Wild horses were galloping all around us, and we made our camp in between the criss-cross of camel tracks.

For the first time, maybe in my life, I welcomed the dark (although it was like dark with training wheels because of the brightness of the moon). Two girls went with me to the watering hole at the dam near our campsite and there, barely discernible in the dusk, were a small herd of cattle. They heard us coming and bolted, moving up the slope faster than I thought possible for such big beasts, then we heard a huge splash as one of the horses jumped into the water. They took off as soon as the breeze picked up... we were not good trackers as we came in up wind of the beautiful creatures.

Stars competed for the moon's brightness and the glow of our fire as Uncle Bob told stories from Country. It was his land that we were on, and it was if the very Earth there welcomed us. Once you step onto Country here, you begin to understand what "kinship" means, and learn how to truly live in the moment.

I slept in a swag under a sky so bright with stars (after the moon set) that I thought I was looking at a dot painting. I still don't know if it was real or not. The profound silence of the desert was punctuated by the conversations of bullocks and cows, and the galloping and snorting of horses in the distance.

This morning we went to King's Canyon and learned Bush medicine and stories of ancientness and creation. The most poignant part was the lesson we all learned about community. One of the group was lagging behind and some of us were walking ahead, which in a Western view is pretty normal. Uncle Bob stopped us and said, "a group walks at the pace of its slowest member". Of course, I immediately became a little defensive, but soon after that got the gratitude I was hoping would show up. Our Western mind makes it paramount to be individuals, but in the Aboriginal Lore (The Law brought down from Creation time), the importance of your identity lies with your group, your mob, your family.

It's easy to say, "we are all one", but to live it is going to require practice. I invite you to have a go at changing your perspective on how connected you really are (and in that lies safety, support and power that goes beyond any amount of money or acclaim). Not easy, and not romanticizing, just passing on some amazing tools I'm learning. Much love! xoxo

in the shadow of Uluru

2009-10-29T09:43:00.003-04:00

The silence of the desert is punctuated alternately by crickets and wild dogs in the distance. The moon almost reflects on the red dirt and the gum trees are transformed into silver fountains.

The simplicity of fully being present in the moment is sharply contrasted with the gross injustice surrounding this most sacred centre of Australia. Should I make a list? 1. there is no money for housing at Mutujulu (the Aboriginal community here), but the Park service just built a 2o million (that's right- twenty million) dollar "viewing" platform for tourists. 2. the children of Mutujulu are not "allowed" to have a pool, because of expense and water... um, but at Yulara (the tourist resorts on the "other" side of the rock) every hotel and campground has a pool. 3. the only store in Mutujulu is run by non-indigenous people and the prices are exorbitant.

I could take up pages and pages to list what is unfair, unjust, violent and how much the government has betrayed and ignored these people. The contrast is in kinships and the kind of spirit most people only see at the movies. But how can I possibly describe what it is really like? Even being here and standing in country, my empathy can only go so far.

It's the journey, cliche or not, that is the guts of it all. Little lessons, new stories, letting go of pre-conceptions, self-reflection, helplessness, empowerment and most of all... simplicity. Everything comes down to love or fear, and this powerful place of violence and creation is no exception.

Global Youth Indigenous Leadership and Healing Historical Trauma Through Shared Experience

2009-09-14T01:10:00.001-04:00

I have a vision of a global youth Indigenous leadership program, and the professional Indigenous mentoring network that will support it. The core values of the project are healing historical trauma through shared experience and community capacity building through service. It is well documented that First Nations people across the globe face daunting challenges. Some of these are violence, alcoholism, no health care, and despair, but I propose that each negative is symptomatic of historical trauma, and can be transformed into a positive through community capacity building and shared experience. Shared experience is a major tenet of grief healing, and can be a powerful tool in healing historical trauma. Imagine young people, from Indigenous communities around the globe, coming together to learn new skills and talk story with kids from other First Nations. Next imagine each participant going back into a different community to manage or assist in service projects. Possible areas of focus are health, education, legal, civil engineering, micro-finance or agriculture. The idea is modeled after Americorps and Peacecorps, but unique in that all participants will be from Indigenous communities and no more than 10% of teachers or administrators will be non-Indigenous. The youth providing services will not only be ambassadors for their own people, but create bridges of communication and an Indigenous grassroots support network throughout the world. Current systems of "aid" are still predicated on the values of the Colonial mindset and see Indigenous people as "other" who are incapable of self-determination without a community structure that mirrors Western ideology. Current systems thinking supports a world view where quantitative analysis trumps common sense and profit margin gets more consideration than right or wrong. Some Indigenous leaders have taken up this mantle of power and greed is disconnecting them from being able to truly help their people. The spiritual aspect is left out of political discourse, so we need to create a new way of globally communicating Indigenous issues that include the heart as well as the head. The first step is to go back through the roots of historical trauma, and engage youth in cross-cultural awakening and self-empowerment through service. To create a new world, the old world must be acknowledged, then lovingly let go. New models for vital and sustainable Indigenous communities can be brought into existence by re-weaving ancient knowledge and tradition into current Indigenous innovation. Program development through community input is vital, but this will only be possible if cultural identity is addressed after understanding the effects of historical trauma, and allowing for a transition period of forgiveness and healing. Youth Indigenous leadership will be the next step, through shared experience, to transform historical trauma and re-affirm dynamic and self-determining communities that will be role models to the rest of the world.

on the path~

2009-09-04T01:06:00.002-04:00

My body is exhausted from all the travel and cramped sleeping, but my spirit is incredibly expanded. Just when I think I've reached a surfeit, a whole new way of thought becomes available. I keep wanting to capture it, to write it down, to prove it's happening, but that's exactly what I need to let go of, in a way. The idea of "control" is what fractures most any good intention. Control of people, control of the land, control of environment, money... it's a "dominator" pattern versus "partnership".

I'm heading back down to Tumbi Umbi tomorrow, and on Sept. 7, am speaking to a group of university students who sit on an Aboriginal advisory panel. The guts of my program are about personal transformation- on all sides, and the work recently is how to convey that.

I was lucky enough to go to the opening of the Melbourne Indigenous "Message Sticks" film festival. It was incredible! I was staying with my friend, who I met at Garma and I think the best part of the whole weekend was the number of amazing discussions we had. She introduced me to some incredible music, "The Last Kinection", "The Herd", and "Archie Roach", who are all writing incredible songs of protest and truth. Music is the blood of a movement, and this movement is walking away from the Empire and creating a real global Community. Not just saying the words to pat ourselves on the back, but really living with authenticity. Every colour of person can learn something about their own story, and live in communion with the land they find themselves on. It's repeated again and again, "We don't own the land, the land owns us".

Just knowing this is right isn't going to change the minds of real estate agents of architects who work in the current system...but that's the point. We get to change the system.

I've just been introduced to an amazing woman who runs a magazine on sustainable childcare and parenting, but also has a blog. Please read what she wrote about speaking to Uncle Bob Randall (who is coming to Asheville in September!!!). It's what I want to tell you too. Her tears have also been mine:

http://kaliwendorf.blogspot.com/

Notes from the escarpment~

2009-08-19T05:36:00.008-04:00

I have not been able to write, because there is so much to say. I thought I had good empathy and my mind was open, but the education I got at Garma had little to do with the structured festival.

The journey began at the Darwin airport, where I camped out the night before flying to a tiny airport called "Gove". My travel tiredness was whisked away as we sailed into the clouds of the Northern Territories and over the red and brown dirt below. I met a lovely girl called Trudie on the plane, who works with Aboriginal Law, and on the bus to the festival grounds I met another rock star named Louise, who teaches in Melbourne.

One thing that surprised me straight off was how many whitefellas there were. It turns out that the Garma festival is owned by one white man, even though there is ostensibly a board of directors (with, believe it or not, not much black representation). It was like splitting into two people then, one for my experience as a white person, and one to observe as an Aboriginal person. Thus began my true learning.

The panels of the key forum became an exercise in colonization and patriarchy- not just words that are heard in a book, but the truth you feel in your gut. The authentic experience for me came around the campfire and the tea station. The first night I met Annie, who I'm staying with now on the Central Coast. I asked about her story, and it was the first of many who casually started off with, "I was taken as a young child...". Another woman, told of how she was taken but her darker brother was not, and that every day while playing outside she and her sisters would notice a black man hanging around crying. They didn't know it was their father.

An incredible moment for everyone came did come during a panel though. Daisy Ward got up to tell the story of her brother- but this wasn't ancient history, this was early this year. Her brother had been arrested for drinking, but then was put into a prison transfer van (of course no one was called), and sent up North. It was an old van, and the air conditioning was broken. No one bothered to check in the back. The temperature got up to 118 degrees, and Daisy's brother was cooked alive.

There was a moment of silence, but the heart was cut out of everyone there. http://www.nit.com.au/breakingnews/story.aspx?id=18395

Another woman spoke after that about her experience being taken to the notorious Palm Island, and eating out of a bin as a child. Last month she spoke with the Prime Minister about Aboriginal health issues.

Words really don't seem adequate to describe the experience. I wandered over to the fire circle, without finding tissues and felt empty. I started crying and a sweet guy named Bernard gave me a handkerchief. Turns out he works for an Aboriginal radio station and he wanted to interview me. It was really the most healing thing that could have happened, because while talking about the project, I was able to see a way through all the violence and painful histories.

But it's not about my privileged self coming in to fix anyone. I'm here as much to learn as to teach. After Bernard finished the interview, his mate Matthew came to sit down. When I first sat down, Matthew had been halting in his speech and super shy. As we started talking story, he became animated and eloquent as he explained the creation stories of his family. He is a dancer, and come to find out, his father is Djalu, the keeper of all the Yidaki songs (didjeridu) who I had met the day before. At the end of the festival, Djalu adopted me as his sister ("Yapa") and did a Yidaki healing on me.

The idea of family here is more than a complex systems of names and rules. I'm only beginning to understand what community can mean.

There were so many fun and happy moments too, and laughter equalized the tears. I didn't spend very much time in my tent (but I'm pretty proud of myself that I did, indeed "camp"- that's big for me), but it was close to all the action, so I was in the thick of it most of the time. Those who know how much I love a starry sky can only imagine what it was like staring through the gum trees at night as the night diamonds spilled over me. They were healing and hopeful, and so important as a balance for all the lessons in the glaring light of day.

Sydney- the first two days

2009-08-07T01:18:00.004-04:00

My first day in Sydney was a wonderful transition- and no jet-lag in sight!!! I unpacked and watched movie

s from the very comfortable couch of my brilliant friend Summer Foley. Day two it was time to explore my new city! I made it out to Tranby Aboriginal College, in the hip neighborhood of

Glebe, and met up with my friend Darryl that I met seven years ago at Macquarie University. He is now the Program Director for Community Development at Tranby, and the catalyst for my trip here. From the outside, the college is

unassuming, but as you walk through the Burnt Sienna hallway you come upon another world, formed with curved

walkways and round classrooms

. The administration buildings and the circular, tribal, classrooms are connected by the "reconciliation" bridge that symbolizes the link between the European and Aboriginal worlds.
After a tour of the campus, I had lunch with some of the staff and students. Everyone was incredibly nice and had great senses of humor. I've also see it in action, employed by a group of people who have had so many challenges in their community. I've already learned a lot, and I've nowhere near begun studying the available resources. You should see the library- it's amazing!Darryl took me to "Vinnie's", the best salvo store (thrift shop) where I got everything I'll need for my trip to the Northern Territories, then there was an impromptu birthday party for my friend. All in all, a wonderful beginning to this new journey!

At the moment, I'm writing from the only cafe I could find with wireless, and it was a perfectly sunny day- but the clouds have started to come in now. I leave for the Northern Territories in a few hours, and won't be able to check in until I get back on the

13th. This is going to be quite an experience, but I'm looking forward to the adventure! Lots of love!!! xoxo

Voices of Wisdom- a possible Non-Profit~

2009-07-21T21:43:00.002-04:00

This is a more academic version of a possible future. All I have at the moment is my vision, which will be informed by experience after my trip to Oz.

VOICES OF WISDOM

For the last six years I have been working on creating a program that could begin to address the travesties surrounding Native/First Americans and Aboriginal Australians. I really began to understand the atrocities endured by the Aboriginal population in Australia, and consequently in my own country, while pursuing my Masters degree at Macquarie University, north of Sydney.

During school breaks, on-campus housing was made available to Aboriginal students through the Warawara program, and as an international student, I also stayed on campus during holidays. As a fellow outsider, I became friends with members of this program and was allowed into their inner circle to begin a video storytelling project, as part of my degree. While listening to their stories I couldn't help but think of the Cherokee community which is close to my home in Western North Carolina. The historical genocide endured by both of these indigenous groups made me realize that the alcoholism, domestic violence and racism of the present day is for the most part symptomatic of the larger problem of historical trauma.

Historical Trauma is "the collective emotional and psychological injury both over the life span and across generations, resulting from a cataclysmic history of genocide "(Yellow Horse Brave Heart). I want to create an organization called "V.O.W.", or "Voices of Wisdom" that will engage community and the arts as a means to heal historical trauma. Employing digital storytelling and cultural exchange between Aboriginal Australians and Native/First Americans, V.O.W. will focus on women, ancient wisdom and current sustainability. Women are the heart of the family, and their empowerment is a means by which to facilitate reconciliation and truly heal the community in which they live. Women in developing countries and indigenous societies are especially at risk for violence, poverty, and have little or no access to health care. Rhonda Copelan, in her essay, “Understanding Domestic Violence as Torture” asserts that, “Violence against women in the home operates as an alternative system of social control unaccountable to the formal legal system.” This is especially insidious for those in indigenous communities who have historical memory of betrayal by the very legal system that professes assistance in the form of public policy. The wisdom of indigenous elders, in terms of oral tradition and environmental sustainability, must also be shared and protected or it will be lost, to the peril of our entire global community.

Bonnie and Eduard Duran, historical trauma scholars, remind us that, "Once a people have been assaulted in a genocidal fashion, there are psychological ramifications. With the victim's complete loss of power comes despair, and the psyche reacts by internalizing what appears to be genuine power--the power of the oppressor. The internalizing process begins when Native American people internalize the oppressor, which is merely a caricature of the power actually taken from Native American people. At this point, the self-worth of the individual and/or group has sunk to a level of despair tantamount to self-hatred. This self-hatred can be either internalized or externalized. . . Research has demonstrated the grim reality of internalized hatred result in suicide. . .Another way in which the internalized self-hatred is manifested symptomatically is through the deaths of massive numbers by alcoholism. When self-hatred is externalized, we encounter a level of violence within the community that is unparalleled in any other group in the country . . ." (Duran and Duran, 29)

I would like to travel to South Africa and Rwanda to study the process of creating reconciliation councils, and to glean tools that will hopefully ignite a movement of reconciliation in the Aboriginal and Native/First American communities. The reconciliation and the empowerment of women and elders in indigenous and Native/First American groups will facilitate a safe space for ancient wisdom to be transformed into present day healing, economic independence, and self-governance, which I hope to translate into a viable non-profit enterprise based in sustainability.

2009-07-09T20:41:00.003-04:00

I was invited to attend the Garma Aboriginal festival: www.garma.telstra.com

It's truly amazing, but the challenge is the $2,200 additional funding!

I'm having a documentary film showing on July 22. Fine Arts Theatre, 7pm -Whaledreamers: www.whaledreamers.com

but if you can't make it, do try to see the film, it is brilliant.

I am learning so much. For instance, I had not realized that playing the yidaki (didjeridu) is only for men. It's men's business and illegal for women. Cultural understanding then comes in bits in pieces:

The sound of the yidaki at Gulkula is a call to the Yolngu clans of Northeast Arnhem Land to come together. It is a call to all peoples to come together in unity. Every August it is also a call to men from around the world who are enthusiastic about the "didjeridu" enthusiasts to come visit the home of the instrument and learn from traditional masters at the Garma Festival.

Non-Indigenous use of yidaki

In the Northern Territory, around Australia, and even internationally, yidakis are being sold in their thousands by those who have no connection to Yolngu. The Garma Festival hopes to remind people that these instruments and their music have sacred cultural uses associated with them that are still being practiced.

Mandawuy Yunupingu explains:

Yolngu understand the yidaki has become an Australian icon and accept non-Yolngu people throughout the world now use it for informal purposes and enjoyment. Be aware, however, that its origins are sacred and secret to Yolngu men. Those stories can not be told here, they can only be shared with initiated men. The yidaki is a male-oriented instrument. In Yolngu society women are forbidden to play it as its origins are sacred to men.

Healing power of the yidaki

Mandawuy Yunupingu explains:

Yolngu people have long recognised the healing powers of the yidaki. Through the provision of exercises for breathing, the yidaki holds collective powers in the healing process. The sound transfers peaceful vibrations that penetrate the mind and create inner spiritual oneness in an individual or group. In some cases, the yidaki is used for physical healing with the player concentrating his breath on an afflicted part of the patient's body.

2009-07-05T23:29:00.003-04:00

If I had to speak so that everyone completely understood me, I would have to be silent. In 25 days I begin a new journey, this time to Australia. It'll be an intense road ahead, but it's also a chance to start work on a dream I've had for over six years, to facilitate an exchange program between Aboriginal Australians and Native Americans to heal historical trauma through shared experience. Dr. Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart has an excellent website on historical trauma, if you want a better understanding: http://www.historicaltrauma.com/

2008-11-22T14:48:00.000-05:00

I envision a country where domestic violence and sexual abuse is Unthinkable. I hope for a place where Women and Men will find what is sacred inside themselves and be inspired to dialogue with their communities toward the common goal of sustainability. I see a country where humanity isn't quantifiable and we practice economics as if people mattered (thank you E.F. Schumacher) and money is not the highest value in the land. *And that land is seen as a limited capital resource, not unlimited income.

I hope to see a place where girls find and respect their power and boys realize that feelings, compassion, respect for creation and humble love are all vital parts of being a warrior. I also wish that people could stop having so many babies and be willing to sacrifice selfish need for the sake of the planet (even though my heart breaks at not being able to hold my own child), because there won't be a planet to leave to our children if we continue to overpopulate.

I hope to see a place where real hope, joy, community and simple contentment become the threads to reweave the world.

thanks for asking ~

hope~

2008-11-22T14:46:00.001-05:00

I got an email from our new leadership, asking what I envision for our country. I have to admit, that's pretty cool to be asked. save the cynicism, there is no time for that anymore. Here's what I wrote:

What a day

2008-08-31T21:24:00.000-04:00

This has the be the nicest day I've seen in Beijing so far! The seasons changed last night. I felt it. pretty cool to be there the moment the wind shifts into Autumn. The sky is Carolina Blue and the clouds are scattered and puffy~ just gorgeous. It was wonderful to take Betty out for a ride; back to "frogger" in this traffic! I'm making chicken coconut curry tonight, and planning my future. I'll be staying in, on a date with myself (which is ultimately better than any Australian guys in white jackets!!).

BLoG

2008-08-27T22:00:00.000-04:00

It is a profound thing to be in the presence of greatness in a unique and compelling moment in history. It was amazing to see the head of the Beijing Olympic Committee and the head of the IOC and the Mayor of London there on stage for the transfer of the Olympic flag from Beijing to London. It was more than exciting to see the fireworks and Olympic flame through the top skin of the Bird's Nest. It was cool to see David Beckham and Jackie Chan and all the Athletes in one place. But. what made me literally not be able to close my mouth for a full five minutes and bring tears to my eyes? It was seeing Placido Domingo sing- IN PERSON- sharing the same stadium as myself. I fell in love with him in college, when I had to do a paper on "La Traviata", which is when I really fell in love with Opera for real. it was just almost too much. You know those moments when your heart beats so hard with everything you thought you wanted as a kid and yet also with extreme love for what you actually got? Just listen to the Encore of "The Three Tenors Concert" when they do "Nessum Dorma", and it feels like that. :) you'll see.

then I went to where our clients were (as it was winding down) and had the best seats ever for the final fireworks extravaganza. Amazing just doesn't cover it. Yet it's tempered with the knowledge of how much money was put into this three hour spectacle (gosh, not to even mention the Opening Ceremony), and what resources might not be there for people in other parts of China who might need it. that's an age-old question I suppose, and one I'll never answer.

It's so weird not being at the hotel today- and you don't realize how fast a month can go by (that might be the no day off in 7 weeks part). I'm going to miss all the guys and girls at the hotel. What a learning curve. I'm sure they were just as frustrated with us as we were with them sometimes, with the language barriers. AUGH. You know when you need something to happen exactly as you ask, and immediately...and then you are met with a totally blank stare? AAAAUUUUGH. forget India or a Buddhist monastery. just come to China. but I feel like i also made some really good friends. a whole wealth of communication just with smiles and laughing. that can't be bad. :) My two favourite guys, Jason and Joseph, are on my right as you look at the picture.

And another ridiculously cool thing happened that last night, when I thought I couldn't get any happier: I ran into Peter Ho-Sun Chan, a big Hong Kong director who just did "The Warlords" with Jet Li and Takeshi Kaneshiro. the extra cool part being that he was a judge in Hawaii, when I worked there for the film festival. He walked by and before I could think I said, "Peter?"...and he turned around, got this astonished look on his face and said, "KATIE!!!" - Wheeeeeee! I love the random moments that happen outside of elevators in other countries!!!! He's coming back up from HK in a few weeks and I'm gonna take him out on the town. Life is full-on here. I LOVE IT!

but everyone is going home now and the teams are breaking up. we had our farewell party last night (at a place called "The Secret Garden", which was so secret that no one could find it: our directions-once we called, lost- were, "It's just past the Rickshaw (a local bar) with the cockatoo out front". They neglected to tell us that the restaurant name was in Chinese...). :) but it was fun once we got there- even though my team leader made me sing to everyone (which was fun, of course, but always slightly awkward for me. i suppose i should just get over that. o.k.). then it was thundering and lightening and raining and we ran to Nan Jie (the local watering hole open 24/7 with cocktails for 20 kuai- $3). i guess it was then i realized this mad month was really over. the DJ mixed a crazy version of "Summer of 69" with a wicked bass line and we danced off into the night, content and more tired that should be allowed. and totally happy.

SLEEP

2008-08-26T22:00:00.000-04:00

i'm so excited about sleeping that I can't sleep. :)

one more day of odds and ends and then...REST

next post will have much more...omg. i just don't know if i can really describe what it was like being there at the closing ceremony.

I mean...yeah. wow. the fact that i was in the same space as all those athletes, world leaders, Placido Domingo, Jackie Chan, and David Beckham...wow.

More soon! ah, sleep.

YAY!!!!!!!

From Tony Blair to Jabba the Hutt

2008-08-23T12:44:00.000-04:00

The final stretch is where you are on the verge of your second wind, and also possible implosion from exhaustion. Well aware of this nefarious dichotemy, we all power on. Last night was so funny. Evidently this is a pretty "big-deal" hotel (Yao Ming owns a suite here) and yesterday, BAZAAR had a huge opening or party or something and all these Chinese popstars were here. they came out of the hotel to be driven 100 feet to get out again before the little, screaming Chinese girls. pretty funny. But it was pretty cool that Jet Li and Tony Blair were both at a dinner on the 5th floor of the hotel last night too. (much more impressive for me than Chinese boy bands- call me old-fashioned). Then, on the way back from my nightly dvd pick-up, I told the cab driver where to go (in Chinese) and he laughed EXACTLY like Jabba the Hutt (in Return of the Jedi when Leia unfreezes Han, you know). As the hot night air blew my hair across my face, the moon came into view through the Bladerunner-like buildings, and it was the colour of burnished gold. A perfect setting for yet another bizarre Beijing night.

Speaking of bizarre, I have to tell you about the dogs here. It cracks me up so much and it's all I can do not to laugh out loud, but the pet-carrying rigs just have to be shared. All in one day, I saw a tiny, white mop of a dog cruising happily in a "backseat basket" of a woman's bike (while she was riding it and the princess' less fortunate siblings were trotting along by leash); a man on a bike with a backpack dog-carrier (that's right, poor little Scottie dog was looking around with his little lets poking out of four holes on the backpack, wondering what the hell he was doing so far away from the ground); and best for last: a woman was pulling a suitcase behind her, which isn't strange in itself, but for the little white mutt..he he, with the..ha.aaaha, dog cone on it's poor little head...he he.. and that was all that was sticking out of the suitcase! omg. i almost fell over on the street.

O.K., the guests are coming back, gotta scram. Whooo Hooo! one more day!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

WHOOOO HOOOOO

2008-08-18T22:12:00.000-04:00

It's another 3.30am arrival home. The smell of hosta flowers permeates the still night air as I make my way home through a maze of asphalt and red lanterns. The full moon is starting to wane and I have to pinch myself to think about what happened. I didn't think I'd get to see any events, but fortune smiled on me and there I was at a swimming finals! I still can't believe I was there. even with pictures. it was just amazing. A million years ago I used to swim and it was so sweet to walk into the water cube and be assailed by the smell of the pool. such good memories came back and little did I know I'd be part of history that day too! I had a "lollipop" sign and was one of those tour guides, like the pied piper, leading big executives through the most gorgeous day I've yet experienced in Beijing. We finally got them settled with races underway. Libby was there from Australia, Natalie was there from America, and then Aaron Piersol and Michael Phelps. Just incredible. We were so close, i could hardly contain myself (but because I was on duty, i had to stay serious...and you know me- that was hard!). I can't describe how profound it was to hear the National Anthem and see our flag raised, next to China and Germany and surrounded by people from everywhere. it's certainly an experience that transcends politics! so, i left early and took the subway back to the hotel and found myself next to three people from Jamaica who looked lost. I helped them change subways and got them to their stop, and found out one of the women is the Mother of Usain Bolt. What a day!

I've made friends with the staff working our hospitality suite- i think they think i'm crazy, but that might be true (but at least I can make them laugh)- and they taught me to say "Mei guo bi sheng!" which loosely translates to, "America can't not win" :) so, of course, every time I walk by them I say, "Zhong guo bi sheng" (China has to win) and they say, "Mei guo bi sheng!". it's pretty funny. that's the good part, but wow is it frustrating trying to run an event where your "staff" can't understand you. how do you explain that steamed vegetables doesn't mean wilted bok choy? or, "can I get some nuts?". that was a good one. I'm getting used to the slightly panicked, blank stare. this place will either make you insane or teach you patience like you wouldn't believe. :)

OH. i forgot. I got totally scammed the other day (TWICE) and it just made me sick. the website for the Chaoyang Theatre had a number, and because of a rain cancellation, we had to get 38 people to do something fun and time was of the essence. Well, the guy on the phone said their credit card machine was broken (yeah, i know, but hindsight is 20/20 and i'm going on no sleep), so i borrowed a quite substantial sum from the hotel and got there just in time (in the rain, no less). so, i'm a superstar. then i go to get the fa piao (receipt) and Poof. he's gone, and his phone is turned off (the guy who met me to give me the tix). sigh. OMG. i almost started crying. I had all these fantasies of putting him in jail, etc. but eventually realized, it's not personal here. it's a business. he made a dummy website and even has staff. i know this because the story actually has a happy ending. I gotta say, it felt pretty good. I called him back, later, and said we needed more tickets for the next night, and could he meet me at the theatre. I took my friend Ray (who speaks Chinese) and made sure he brought the official receipt. So, he actually shows up, and gives us the receipt (another thing you can manufacture in China) and then I was like, "o.k., so tell us about this scam. not cool. we want our money back". i can say I've actually seen a deer in headlights now. The funny thing is, the night before, I was so angry, and eventually (because i needed to sleep) i made the effort to try to look at him with compassion. my anger was probably more at myself for getting taken for a ride and my pride was hurt.

So, there we were, and he put up a really convincing fight (like, the tickets really were that expensive and let's go talk to the manager), but Ray was great and told him we had his "information"- so he knew the game was up. the best part was, though, when I asked for the money back that he scammed, his last ditch effort was, "Well, that's the price on the website" and I came right back with, "but that's a fake website". man, it was perfect. you had to feel sorry for him then. and when i said he made me lose face in front of my boss and he made China look bad he totally apologized for himself and his country, and put out his hand. I took it and that was that, knowing full well, he'll probably be back at it tomorrow. what a day though.

That was one of the coolest things ever

2008-08-09T22:09:00.000-04:00

Wow. i don't even know what to say, that was just brilliant!

i actually didn't really think they would use the song. but they did. it's the one right before they light the first small torch, when the girls in white dance, right after the speeches. wow. that was just amazing.

and then the closing fireworks, we COULD see them!!! that was so damn cool.

well, i'm running out of adjectives to describe this night.

*and now i have to try to explain to the hotel staff that the projector needs to be fixed, before all the CEOs come back from the ceremony. he he. communication is a luxury not easily attainable here. sigh. gotta go!

On A Clear Day You Can See Forever

2008-08-09T22:06:00.000-04:00

So, I saw some of the fireworks leading up to the bird's nest, but the smog/haze was too thick to see anything from the stadium. bummer. but, I'm hanging out in the air conditioning with a screen and projector~ not bad. those poor "cheerleaders" who have to dance in cowboy boots for HOURS...

so, i thought it might be like this, but there are hardly Any cars on the roads right now!!! wow. once in a lifetime indeed!!!!

Team China is just rounding the last bend. there should be fireworks soon. (i hope)

I don't envy anybody the trip out of the stadium.

wow.

The body caligraphy was really awesome, and the light shows were really incredible.

OOH and the world that came out of the ground, with the people dancing on it...that was awesome. the costumes, the endless supply of beautiful women in gorgeous dresses...very cool.

*the song Sarah Brightman sang- that was the second song, that I only changed two small things about. but how freakin' brilliant to hear them sing it. The president of the beijing olympic committee is speaking now, but since it's local Chinese tv, i have no idea what he's saying. i can pick out about 7 words. but i do know when they say, "one world, one dream" (teng yi ge shi jie, teng yi ge meng xiang) Aw Yeah!!!

:) i miss everybody heaps (but i did go out with a hot Australian guy last night and it turns out yesterday was Chinese Valentine's Day) ha. i also have no idea what I'm saying right now because I haven't had a decent night's sleep in what feels like a decade. but man, i am having the time of my life.

1 hour and 8minutes to go

2008-08-08T08:30:00.000-04:00

I'm watching the pre-show on the local CCTV channel. None of the international Chinese channels will be showing the ceremonies, just the one serving the mainland. The dances and costumes I've seen so far are pretty impressive, even though they are dwarfed by the size of the stadium floor. The smog/haze is just dreadful. I can see about three blocks and I'm on the 61st floor. good grief.

it is pretty amazing to be here though, i must say. and i'm a sucker for all the big music and dramatic shows. i'll probably get all misty-eyed when the real ceremony starts.

it's profound to be here in this moment. i'm so grateful and blessed. sending all my love back home! xoxo

Bloggy Blog

2008-08-04T21:59:00.000-04:00

Oh there is so much to tell, i don't know where to begin!!! Should I start with chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes (not much of a story other than they were AWESOME!), or that i have three roommates now and it was slightly dicey at the police station getting all the registration done, or that there is a flower sculpture of the Great Wall near the Lama Temple (Oiy so tacky, but bloody brilliant), or the subway (ha. just in general), or the fact that an Olympic venue is Right Across the Street from my apartment!!! they were practicing on the stage for the event and we went up to the 14th floor to peer into the park. so funny. let's just say that it's obvious that Coca Cola is a sponsor. :) I'm wicked tired tonight, but that's because I spent the last 7 hours in a huge

ballroom at the JW Marriott listening (for the first hour) to program directors ask questions about transportation (omg it's going to be a logistical Nightmare!), and the last 6 hours getting names and numbers of all our drivers, loading stuff and waiting for the ridiculous queue to go down so we could get our cars for the program.

so how funny is this? none of our drivers have driven an automatic. yeah. not so funny when i told him to pull over and he put it into neutral (thank god i had my seatbelt on).

Or should I tell you about last week when I got to see the musical HAIRSPRAY???? it was fantastic!!!! My beautiful friend Max, from college, has a friend in the cast, so I got tix to see it (Twice!!!). Last Monday was an awesome show and i ran into three other friends whom I had worked with on OLIVER (small town, and all the remaining white people are required to know each other. just kidding. maybe.). So Kit (Max's friend) invited us to go to dinner for another cast member's birthday. aw, it was so much fun. That's my tribe. crazy musical theatre folk. i love 'em. We went to TGIFriday's (ha), which is always surreal, because when you leave you are truly surprised that you happen to actually be in China. :)

Everything is changing in the city. it's amazing. you can really feel it! everything is cleaner, there are red lanterns EVERYWHERE and just a general excitement permeating everything. We move into our hospitality suite tomorrow. i'm so excited. it's going to be just amazing seeing the whole city from the 61st floor. groovy.

o.k., i have to go to bed or i might cry. naw.
they made it rain a few days ago, so at least it's relatively clear.
ha. we shall see....
Miss everyone heaps!
xoxo

Sad songs on palm trees

2008-07-20T23:16:00.000-04:00

Tonight is my last night on the island, but I'm ready to get back to Beijing. My job with the Events Company is now to start immediately (thank goodness, because I've got to make up for the lunch I had yesterday in the beautiful Yalong Bay at the Sheraton...but Oh Man, was it worth it. crazy good Lobster bisque (for which i am a sucker) and the most incredible open-faced ravioli with cajun shrimp and grilled scallops...wow). I'm on my 6th book now (i love vacations) and only just today managed to get burned. drat, i thought i was doing so well. curse of the single girl...can't reach my back.

It's a unique experience to be in complete solitude while surrounded by hundreds of people (i guess that's China most of the time though). There are a few Westerners here, but most are Russian. It seems that Russians are to Sanya what the Japanese are to Hawai'i. The horrible, blasting, Russian music and bad Chinese karaoke, though...i could do without. the water was so clear today and the sky breathtaking. two butterflies even flew over me while i was in the water too!

I ended up at a tiny little thatch bar near a rocky inlet (pictures to follow) and though last time is was sad, classical piano music, this time was even more depressing. I mean, who would play that damn Celine dion Titanic song, then "i believe i can fly", then "i just called to say I love you", THEN "Take my breath away"? and there was some other song about someone being the best part of someone else's life. seriously. if he's the best part of her, and he's gone, she better snap out of it and stop singing a sad-bastard song about it. :) but then, i guess it's all designed to make people so depressed that they'll drink more. ah. sneaky. the best part was when they started playing the theme song to "Lord of the Rings", but then they shut if off for some other sad-bastard '70s song with a damn Synthesizer. sigh.

The summer is about to go into high-gear for me, and I'll do my best to report in, but I'll be working pretty much 12 hour days for the whole month of August.

*make sure to watch the opening ceremonies- it's a secret, but somehow I ended up helping one of the girls, who will be singing one of the songs, with her English and ended up re-writing most of the lyrics for the English version of the song. can't say the name, but if you spoke Spanish it would be called Cielo (you know, blue, with clouds...) :)

Love and kisses, and now back to the grueling evening ahead...finishing my book and walking on the beach. whew. :) xoxoxo

News from the South China Sea!!!

2008-07-15T23:15:00.000-04:00

after a long and bumpy ride from an airport that no one had heard of (it actually used to be an old military base a 40 kuai taxi ride from the Southern most subway stop), i finally made it to Sanya, on the island of Hainan, in the South China Sea . the moon is almost full and the water is blessedly cool, at 11:30 pm. i love watching the moon's reflection in the sand and then the water recedes, wiping the brightness away like a cosmic etch-a-sketch. to my left was offensively loud Russian music and to my right was a ridiculously bright and far-reaching laser show from a hotel at the end of the beach. good grief. Yet the little space of beach i occupied tonight was just brilliant. i could feel my heart actually opening up under the smiling moon and crashing waves. so romantic...in the big sense of the word. :)

The room at the hostel is a slightly obnoxious version of the summer camp i never went to. so far, the best i can say for it is it has air-con. oooh, and I saw two white geckos. i love those little creatures (and not just because they eat mosquitos)!

so, i'm off to start my vacation in earnest and even though the heat is oppressive, i'm so excited to have fresh air and clean water!!!! whooo hooooo!

Starbucks Retrospective

2008-07-11T23:13:00.000-04:00

I find myself at the Starbucks near the Hospital, using the computer as I did 4 months ago- but how different I am now. I don't pretend to be an accepted member of the community, but I am constantly assailed with a certain awareness of how this is my home right now. it's not always easy, but I can get around my town by bus, subway and taxi and even bike. I've actually run into people I know on the street (which always blows my mind in a city this size). Going to the Great Wall this past Sunday was just completely profound! It was incredible to imagine being marooned out there at one of those guard posts (we had to climb a rusty ladder to climb over a short section of the wall), and then imagine having to build the crazy thing. just incredible. (i felt like an accomplished mountain goat by the time I got from one guard tower to another- man, was it steep...and no steps on part of it. augh)

WOW- just this second I got an amazing phone call. The guy I worked with, who directed OLIVER here, recommended me for a pretty freakin' cool gig and it just got confirmed!!!!! whooo hooooo! I'm helping with English/vocal coaching for people singing at the closing ceremony of the Olympics! holy Cow!!!! I don't know any details, and it's all confidential anyway...but I'll let you know at the end of August how it was!!! :) he he.

I met two great people last night, after a really incredible yoga class and hanging out with my beautiful friend Jessica and her roommate Dalida. I've come to a new place in my Beijing existence...playing with grown-ups. :) I have had a wonderful time rockin' and rollin' and staying out dancing...but I realized that I was pretty much continuing some old patterns that weren't maybe that healthy for me (inside or out). The woman i met last night works for the World Food Program at the UN and the guy is a Brand Manager for Volvo. Her apartment was ridiculously cool and the wine was brilliant, not to mention the art and sculptures she'd gotten from the many countries she's worked in. But it wasn't just the stylish trappings that I enjoyed. We talked about so many inspiring subjects and some silly, yet all the while i was just happy to be a sentient being, as opposed to the getting wasted/high school drama/sex swapping crowd I floated through before (*i wasn't in on the sex-swapping Mom, and i'm not even lying) :) Beijing produces (or attracts) an interesting specimen of the Western Male. No matter what he was like back home, here he is a rock star with beautiful/skinny/long-haired/

Life is Good

2008-07-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

at the moment, i'm at the East Shore Jazz club, overlooking Hou Hai lake. My friend Jessica is rehearsing for her show tonight. I'm using the bar's computer, because it's touch and go these days for mine. definitely got a 1984 situation here. Yesterday was most amazing. After a lunch party at my house (and finally seeing Chaoyang park from the 14th floor of my building) we went to JingShang Park, which overlooks the Forbidden City. It was most profound, as is always when i see any congregation of greenery and birdlife. The part of the park we started in was built for archery practive in the Ming, or Qin Dynasty (i forgot, and i sincerely hope there are no Chinese History scholars reading this, because i am being abyssmally lazy and not looking it up. but if i stop this blog post now, it may be weks before I get the time and connection to do it again:) lame excuse, but anyway...it was a really long time ago. That made me think of my Mom, she did archery in college. so cool.

So, we walked to the topmost pagoda and had a breathtaing view of the entire city. And we could even see mountains!!! so, it was moderately clear...yay!!!! Then we ambled through some hutongs and ended up at a Starbucks. gotta love that, running the whole gamut.

I left the group and found my way to the National Centre for Performing Arts where I was to see a play called "CiXi and DeLing". My friend Lisa Lu (one of the Mom's from the Joy Luck Club, who I met at the Hawai'i Film Fest) was playing the Dowager Empress and everyone in the theatre burst into applause the first time she came on stage. What a fascinating experience that was. and WHOA what a Theatre Complex. wow. It was the story of the end of the Qing Dynasty, after the Boxer Rebellion and the big issue was Western customs and reform. how strange to be one of only two Westerners in the whole audience of more than 400. And there were times during the play, when one of the characters would make an especially emotional statement, and the whole audience would applaud. so fascinating. Everyone did such an incredible job and I hadn't realized just how talented my friend really is! So, I walked all across Tian'anmen Square and over to Wanfujing, up as far as Chaoyangmen Nei. I know that doesn't mean anything to you at home, but trust me...it was a VERY long walk, in the rain. The funny part was though, i thoroughly enjoyed it!!!! I am so lucky to be here, right where I am, just who I am, right now, at this very moment. Life is good.

More Solstice Photos

2008-06-21T23:30:00.000-04:00

Solstice

2008-06-21T23:07:00.000-04:00

So, Friday, June 20th started out with a book launch for a friend then dancing at "the boat". imagine high school drama with an all Chinese Rockabilly band. it's so nice to wake up and realize, "but hey...I'm actually NOT in high school anymore" . Yay

then Saturday dawned bright and beautiful for the Summer Solstice. i packed up blue Betty with books, towel, chocolate, iPod and cheap champagne and headed for Ritan Park- the Temple of the Sun. it was just brilliant, sitting on a rock, overlooking a pond, watching the birds and kites float around through the clouds. That night my friend's band played on the opposite side of the pond and I got a chance to practice boundaries and integrity. good stuff, especially after reading a book by a Buddhist nun all day.

the next day, a friend got me tickets to the Symphony :) We actually went to dinner at...wait for it...The Sizzler Steak House.not kidding. We played on the subway, and then, before the concert began, there was a "pre-show" with "The Phoenix babies" ...i can't even tell you how cute it was.

my friend was the MC and he looked gooooood. After the earthquake there was a poster going around with the picture of a little girl with a dirty face and a terrified expression, with an oxygen tube taped to her face (I saw it at the hospital); well, this same little girl came out at the beginning of the show looking wonderful and saying hello to the audience. it totally brought tears to my eyes. The symphony was so-so, but all in all it was a fabulous way to spend a Sunday! :)

SATURDAY!

2008-05-31T15:09:00.000-04:00

So, biked in the brilliant clear blue (the first I've seen Beijing) of Saturday to the subway, then to the theatre to meet up with my friend Kemin, the director of OLIVER (a musical i helped with here) then back to my friend Jenny's for her birthday party. The music was awesome, a boy named Ben was on the bbq, champagne and grey goose flowed, girls played twister and as the sun went down the candles came out. The cute DJ showed up with his other futbol friends and he got down on one knee to tell me how much he loved my voice. He also thought I was 25. He he. Tommy and my new friend Jamie came to get me after I dropped my bike at home and we all went to an outdoor/indoor bar/club called "Dos Caligas" which is right next to the Drive-in Movie theatre (i KNOW- how cool is that?). Fairy lights were strung up and people sat in groups outside on wicker mats. Inside was a roster of alternative to hard-core punk bands and I got to pretend I was a teenager and danced my ass off in front of the speakers. At about 2:30 we cabbed it to Nan Jie for some 15 kuai shishkebobs and hotdogs :) and lots of laughing. I had my usual glitter on (which, contrary to popular belief is not only for strippers, Erica) and for some reason everyone else wanted it too- boys included. So it was a glittery group that made it to a little bar down the road which was pumping out the hip-hop and more dancing ensued. I met two extremely sweet girls just at the beginning of their own life journeys and had a great conversation. We started losing people then, which might have had something to do with the fact that it was starting to get light out (we are pretty far North, so by 4:45 it was pretty much daylight). It was down to just Tommy and myself and the new group who were at the bar. We walked out to go home then everyone tumbled out and started to play soccer (sorry, Futbol) on the street with a half-deflated ball. It was one of the funniest things I've seen- when cars would come by everyone yelled, "CAR! GAME OFF" and then when they passed, "GAME ON". I had stopped drinking long before that but watching these guys trying to play futbol was truly hilarious in their state. For some reason we got a second wind and Tammy (my new young friend from New Orleans) and I wanted breakfast. Tommy struggled with it for a moment, but finally he came along too :) By this time it was 6:03. On the way to "The Den" we met up with some crazy guy from New York who was angry at the world. I won't repeat his conversation because my Mother reads my blog... I think the accompanying pictures will tell what happened to him. :) After a truly brilliant breakfast (the guys got bloody marys..well, it WAS Sunday by this point) I stepped out into the bright sunshine of the clearest day yet in Beijing. The Sun was like a laser beam and the clouds were imprinted in the Carolina Blue with razor sharp clarity. By this time it was 8am and I had to be in the South part of town by 9am for a presentation at the Jane Gooddall Institute. oh god. Luckily it was a fantastic ride down, even though I got lost and I really think the kids from the different schools around China made great presentations for what they were doing for the environment in their towns (but I can't be sure because it was all in Chinese). sigh. The ride back was a little rough, but my iPod gave me the perfect soundtrack- for that last mile I could have used "Chariots of Fire" though...somehow I made it home in time to drop into bed, exhausted but absolutely and completely happy.

TEMPLE OF THE SUN

2008-05-30T15:07:00.000-04:00

This Weekend was amazing. Friday afternoon I rode my bike to the Temple of the Sun in Ritan Park. As soon as I stepped through the gate it was as if time slowed to keep pace with the wonder surrounding me. Pine trees and roses swayed in a gentle breeze and an ancient stone pathway let me to the gateway of the sacrificial altar. Happily, the sacrificing ceremonies are long over, but it was still profound to go and sit right in the middle of the huge stone square. After watching the sun descend through the distant cityscape and a vertical rainbow that aligned with the West Gate, I made my way through a winding path to the "Stone Boat". It's a small bar/restaurant right on an idyllic pond framed by weeping willow trees. My friend Rachel came to hang out and we hiked up to a gorgeous Pagoda as the first star came out (which is always amazing to see because of the constant pollution/dust) and on the way up surprised two teenagers making out behind a rock. Later, a man with a loudspeaker came up telling us to get out and as the soldiers who had been enjoying the view walked past they called us "Laowai" (not the nicest way to say "foreigner") but we just laughed and waved. I think they were surprised we understood what they said.
We then made our way back down to the Stone Boat where my friend David Mitchell and his band were playing. What an amazing evening. It was like being transported back in time, listening to truly amazing music (guitars and a sitar-like instrument) on the water and no mosquitoes. :)

Later that night went to Rickshaw and got a kiss on the hand from an exceptionally cute DJ named Josh, a footballer from Manchester, England. The moon was a golden sickle giving the arch of trees opportunity for excellent shadows to guide me home. All in all, a great evening. :) and Saturday was even better. :)

BLOG-O-RAMA!

2008-05-22T21:32:00.000-04:00

Wow. Life has the coolest way of coming around!

So, I did not get the job for the Olympics with the company I first interviewed (but I met Lidia there, so that's why that happened), which I decided was really o.k. I'm having a brilliant time here and am so happy. THEN a few weeks ago I get this email out of the blue from the woman who interviewed me at that other company. She has resigned and is now working for this NZ events company and could I come in for an interview. I just had a phone interview from Sydney this morning and I'M WORKING A HOSPITALITY SUITE AT A HOTEL DURING THE OLYMPICS!!!! whooo hooooooo! So, every two days I'll get an influx of mostly Australian corporate types who are coming to see the games. We'll have a huge screen tv in the suite and basically, I am party host for about 18 days. that's one long party! I'm so excited I could dance! I'll let you know more as I know more. For now I'm going to help with notes for tech week of "Oliver" the musical, then going to see Jessica Meider sing at East Shore Jazz in Hou Hai. I wish you could see this place. it's got a rooftop with tables that overlooks a lake...so cool. Oh, (sigh)

guess what? I found my passport. he he...of course. oh well, had I not "lost" it, I wouldn't have met Leah who is now my Chinese teacher three times a week. Yay! I make breakfast and she teaches me Chinese (but tomorrow she's bringing Chinese pancakes). Life is just grand! :) xoxoxo

Stormy Weather

2008-05-14T22:44:00.000-04:00

As most days in China, today was bizarre. Since I'm at a stopping point, I'll start here. The sky is like I've never seen it; the ominous gray is a harbinger of the coming storm (isn't that a great word, "harbinger"?). I guess being here has made me appreciate words even more, now that I am reduced to the vocabulary of a toddler. The waitress of the cafe I'm at just made me go inside with her because she was afraid of the storm. She couldn't understand why I would take my coffee and go back outside. How could I explain to her that the lightening and thunder and threat of rain is exciting and gives me back the energy that was sucked away by this day.

That's as nice a segue as I could hope for, so here goes: I lost my passport.

There were no taxis, of course, so I had to go back and get my bike and ride 45 minutes to the place I thought was the Public Security Bureau. I had actually passed it 15 minutes before. : And just a little background, Betty, my brilliant bike was lost- stolen i thought- but then a week ago I was riding (on my new bike, Byron, also blue) when I literally had this feeling that she was around, and my fledgling Jedi powers found her wedged in the middle of about 100 other bikes. so, i dumped Byron and rode off with Betty. All right, back to this crazy day; I finally found the damn building with the help of a nice lady on the street and two bemused women from a furniture store. I waited in line to be told I was at the wrong window, then had the pleasure of being told that I didn't have the proper papers and to go to the local police bureau for an incident report. yeah. so looking forward to that.

I took another 45 minute bike ride to the side of town where my boss' assistants work. The two amazing girls who helped me were the highlight of my whole day. We all had lunch together and I learned how to say "egg" in Chinese. One of the girls' father is in the Police dept. and I suspect that will be one of the reasons I will be able to stay in the country. Amazing all the intricacies. After a slightly intimidating trip to the local Po Po, I had to take a taxi to the hospital to get more paperwork (can I tell you how much the Chinese love official documents) then back to the Public Security Bureau. There was no line this time, but there was also no one at the computer in aisle 12. Finally a guy showed up and I spent 20 nerve-wracking minutes answering questions and writing statements and making sure everything was in order. I said something self-effacing in Chinese and he contradicted me with a smile and I realized, my heart relaxing for the first time that day, that he was Flirting with me! Then he said I had a pretty signature, but that he couldn't read it. :)

Now the rain has really started and I have to ride my bike home. great. Tomorrow is the U.S. Embassy. Usually the Marine guard is cute, so that's something to look forward to.
wow. it's REALLY pouring. I have to sing tonight. damn.

Earthquake

2008-05-13T08:34:00.000-04:00

Just to let everyone know, the earthquake was over 1,000 miles away from Beijing. Some people here felt it, but I did not.

It's actually a gorgeous day today. My thoughts are with the victims and also the people in Burma devastated by the cyclone.

I'm extremely blessed and grateful to be happy and healthy.

Lots of love, Katie

Good Times

2008-04-28T21:29:00.000-04:00

I forgot to tell you about last weekend. It was absolutely BRILLIANT!!!!! We went camping up North in Qinhuangdao, which is about 20 minutes South of where the Great Wall goes into the ocean. Evidently they've "rebuilt" part of it, so it looks more like a tourist attraction. Seems a shame somehow. We never made it that far, but stayed at "the beach house". :) The boys actually rented a house for a year in this town that takes 4 hours by slow train to get to. It was pretty cold, but we had the best time. Continuing the fierce card game from the previous weekend took up most of Friday night, that is after we left "Golden Age", a bar that would have to come straight out of a cheesy 80s movie if I hadn't seen it myself. There was a big 360 stage and different girls singing Karaoke to the "audience". Finally a guy singer came on- evidently some "hot commodity" around town...red shirt, open at the collar, gold necklace...awesome. And, he sang the last half of the song directly to me. I think I was as red as his oh-so-cool shirt by the end of it. The next morning we had a wonderful lunch from the landlady and while we were out of the front landing some of the local kids came peeking by the front gate. They were so cute! Tommy went down and hid behind the door and they squealed in delight when he scared them. so great. Then they darted away, only to return a few minutes later with dandelions for the three of us sitting outside. I went outside to play with them and tried to teach them "little bunny foo foo", but not very successfully, then they disappeared again, returning this time with stickers for all of us. What a great way to spend a Saturday morning! We walked out to the beach then, and it was really a glorious day. There was a killer campfire that night and one of the guys' friend, Victor brought firewood and food and we all ended up sleeping on the beach under the full moon. Very good times!!!!

Healing Smile

2008-04-26T21:23:00.000-04:00

The cabbage and cigarette smell threatens to overwhelm me as I'm sitting in the private car, being driven to the "Shunyi Clinic" in the Northern part of town. It's the satellite clinic for the hospital and is 10 miles from nowhere. The wind is maniacally whipping past us, as are all the other cars and even old men on bicycles because I am being driven by the slowest driver in the universe. We really should have started yesterday if we wanted to be on time, but it's still an adventure and finally we turn onto a beautiful tree-lined drive next to a river. We pass the obligatory public exercise equipment put there in a "Get China Fit" movement, which are, like most of the time, empty of people working out. Finally we reach our destination and it's a tiny but spotless clinic with two of the Doctors I sat next to at the baseball game a few weeks ago. Amazing how such a big town can be so small. It's extra lucky that I know one of the Doctors because she had a look at my face and gave me some Clarytin and assured me i wasn't dying of liver failure. I just had a reaction to the sun/wind/pollution/antibiotics. Whew. So, I'll be teaching the "English Language Hospitality Club" there on Wednesdays and at the big hospital Mon, Tue, Thu. I guess I just get overcommitted wherever I go. I actually am enjoying it though, so I'm just gonna go with it. Tomorrow I give my first lesson: Eye Contact and How to Smile. :) good stuff.

Nesting

2008-04-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

I've always had an affinity for trees. And I've claimed the tree in the back of my apt. as mine. I'm on the second floor and just off the living room is a tiny "porch" with windows looking out onto a tree, streetlamp, bushes, and small walkway. Beyond that are highrises and a new building site. When it rains, a puddle forms just under the streetlamp which reflects the light and the raindrops falling in concentric and constant circles. That's when I listen to jazz and have a cup of tea and it feels like I'm in Brooklyn in the '30s. I do have an overactive imagination though... At the moment, while writing this, my roommate is practicing his guitar in the other room and the distant sounds of traffic drone on in a soothing, city lullaby. I believe I am content. :)

Black Coffee

2008-04-17T21:48:00.000-04:00

So the sore throat was indeed tonsillitis! But, happily, my gig went great last night, and I am working for a hospital. some of my best friends in Beijing came to hear me sing last night, and it made it that much more special. I learned a new song called "Black Coffee" and man, does it throw down the blues. There just isn't anything like being onstage singin' that song with a trumpet, sax and stand-up bass behind you (and having on fabulous new shoes!!!). It was great. I rode Blue Betty to and from the club through the warm Spring night and it was just magical. Now I have to go take my antibiotics and get to bed. But this weekend is a train adventure to some new town...so, more soon!!!! xoxoxo

Trip out of Town

2008-04-14T21:10:00.000-04:00

This weekend I must say I got a little homesick for the mountains! We went "camping" in a little mountain farming village about two hours north of Beijing (but between the bus and taxi, it too almost three). But the way there led us through a winding mountain road. It reminded me of the Blue Ridge Parkway, but with way less traffic rules. :) There were actually stars!!! I could see many constellations and the great rock faces of the surrounding mountains looked like snow in the moonlight. I arrived with the "second shift" and our friends there were already well into some intense games of "A**hole" (it's a card-game, Mom). We had an incredible dinner and went back to playing cards into the wee hours and I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time. The next morning we went hiking through some amazing gorges and more stairs than I would ever care to climb again at one time. but it was a brilliantly beautiful day and we hung out on the rocks surrounding a small pool. I can only imagine how cold the place must get in the winter, because there were large sections of ice that looked like tiny glaciers surrounding the pool. I think the boys slid down one of them. My friend Willy (a beautiful Dutch girl) and I had a wonderful talk while sunbathing on the most comfortable rock I've ever had the pleasure to sleep on. What a great weekend!

This Wednesday I'm singing at the club, so, keep your fingers crossed. But I got the most amazing shoes in the universe, so it will be a good time regardless!!!! :)

I finally got an apartment- it is ridiculously cool and I feel like I'm in a movie! So, I walk around the house singing jazz tunes I'm learning and at night sit on the little "balcony" listening to Ella Fitzgerald and looking down at the tiny park outside my window, singing along and watching the shadows of the trees move through the little pool of light from the streetlamp.

The weather is finally getting warmer, but the sky is filled with little white puffs of fuzz- not sure if they are from trees, or some pillow fight of the gods, but it looks like snow. So continues my surreal and amazing experience in Beijing!!!

Blue Betty Rides Again

2008-04-08T19:25:00.000-04:00

My dear friends who are sweet enough to read this blog, I have just had one of the most amazing days of my life! If you were to just look at it on paper, it might seem rather ordinary, but it was/is pure magic. You know that feeling when you get your first apartment after college? Or that first job? I feel like this is the first time in my life that every single aspect of my life is my own, and absolutely new. It's just brilliant. Maybe because basic things are challenges here, but yesterday I got a phone (for $20 yeah!) and today I got a bike and an apartment!!!!! Whoooo Hoooo! Thank god my friend Tommy was with me for the bikes, because my Chinese is totally Bu Hao! He got a black bike and I got a powder blue bike with a sticker that says, "Betty". So, I took Blue Betty out on the town and rode for miles (i LOVE that Beijing is flat :) and it was truly amazing. I really felt like I was part of this town today, riding around either dodging cars like Frogger, or cycling smoothly down a wide, tree-lined lane, passing all the Embassies.

I've sung a few songs with the band, but I think a week from tomorrow is when we will really kick off. I met some other guys from Detroit who are the back-up band for this woman who I swear is Tina Turner reincarnated, and they were so cool!! I went to see them and they invited me up on stage. AUGH. So, I did "Summertime" and it felt absolutely amazing. I thought I was in a 1940's movie for a minute there (still looking for Cary Grant though!), and it was so fun. The picture is a little dark, but you get the gist!

This weekend I bartended at a house party for the friends I've been staying with this past week (affectionately known as the Frat House- but in a good way) :)
It was a blast. My friend Michael Leahy (who used to live in Asheville) just happened to be passing through Beijing. how weird was that? It was a killer party (even though a poster caught fire in the back room before the party started- let's hear it for cement walls!!!).

More soon once I get settled in my place (which is really bad-ass! It's all black slate floors (and bathroom walls), a big kitchen, and upstairs- yeah, that's right- and a Queen Size bed! omg! there's even a dark wood wardrobe and vanity). I think actually, I may have fallen into a 1940s movie. :) Brilliant!

Lots of love and hugs and more soon!

Picture Post

2008-04-01T19:15:00.000-04:00

This is the entrance to the club, Block 8, which is way cool.

Then I take the 701 bus from the Hospital to the club.
Busses are great here...except in the rain.

The next pic is the road to the club.

Around the corner is a restaurant called "1001 Nights"- cute little kid.

I've made some great friends here.
This is the opening of my friends club called, "The Saddle"- OLE!!!

CINDERELLA's got nothin' on me!

2008-03-25T08:41:00.000-04:00

I can hardly believe it, but I definitely got the job singing Jazz at the club "Block 8"
wow. I went to meet the owner and manager, and to hear the band I'd be playing with. He bought us all bottles of pink champagne- it was like an urban fairy tale. Now, of course, the hard part starts and probably the biggest test to my perfection complex. However impatient to rehearse and work on songs, it doesn't always work like that in Chinese culture. I think this in itself is going to be a huge adventure. Well, at least it should have a good soundtrack! Check out the promotional videos on the club's website (sorry if the sound is choppy- it's not the best video player) :) http://www.block8.cn/
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

to Be someone

2008-03-24T08:39:00.000-04:00

I'm surfing on a different couch now, so I haven't had time to take pix for upload anything new. Of course, much has happened in this last week. I began work at the hospital in earnest, and it is actually quite rewarding. It's also kind of funny that part of my job is teaching people how to smile.

A few days ago I was walking toward Sanlitun, past the Worker's Stadium, feeling quite dejected. I'm suprised I haven't felt this way more, but being a big girl in the States...you can imagine, sometimes I feel like a behemoth here. Anyway, I passed these huge piles of windows, being ready to be put in some unsuspecting building and looked at my reflection- struggling with imperfection. All of a sudden I felt completely alone, like a little planet orbiting nothing, just drifting along by myself. A small sting of tears started in my eyes when the most incredible thing happened. Not a huge thing, but profound in it's relation to my little moment of self pity. I went to pass someone on the small sidewalk and he stopped, taking off the bandana covering his mouth and saying, "hey, I know you". It was the hot guy from the improv class two weeks ago. I actually ran into someone i know on the streets of Beijing. holy cow, then I put my iPod back on and the first words in my ear were from Tracy Chapman, "I have a feeling that I belong...I have a feeling I could be someone, be someone...be someone". I stopped in wonder at how blatant the universe can be sometimes when it tells you to "get over yourself" because you are definitely an important part of everything that is or will be. I turned the street corner and smiled at the world around me, happy as myself, with nothing to prove.

fo real

2008-03-20T08:37:00.000-04:00

good god. i'm in "pizza hut" but they're not serving personal pizza anymore, so i got clam chowder.
that
was
a
mistake
:(

The Gig & The Dugout

2008-03-16T19:46:00.000-04:00

The day dawned cool and clear. The sky blue and even a few clouds dotting the horizon.
After a brilliant lunch at this little outside courtyard I went home to get ready. The nerves started a bit, but they were held at bay by excitement as the elevator rose to the 50th floor of the Capital Mansion, the tallest building in Beijing! The night was clear and a carpet of lights and moving neon swam below me like something out of BLADERUNNER. The Englishman was on guitar, the Frenchman on Bass. We toasted with champagne then I went to the mic.

so, i wish i had some more romantic imagery for you, but basically, we were background music and when i went up to the mic it shocked the heck out me because of all the dry air and static electricity! :) It was a great first event, so I was relaxed and had a great time with the singing, even though we had only had one rehearsal. One of the big sponsors and club members came up to me and said what a good job we did and he loved my voice (Whew!). he bought us a bottle of champagne at a club we ended up at. It was a great night.

Needless to say, I was a little bit groggy the next day when Lidia and I had to get up wicked early to get to the hotel where Gan (her husband) was staying. But after the queasiness died down, a sense of disbelief came over me which I just couldn't shake for the whole day!!!

I grew up on American League Baseball, but Major League Ball just the same, and here I was, on a bus with the coaching and medical staff for the San Diego Padres. oh my god. i couldn't believe it. We came in through the team clubhouse and basically we got to hang out in the dugout while the Dodgers then Padres warmed up. HOLY COW. I mean, Treavor Hoffman was two feet away from me, and Joe Torre was about 20 yards away. wow.

So, Lidia had her big camera, and when the game started, she slipped around the side, and I followed, to a little on field press box. Oh wow. I still can't believe I watched a good part of the game from the field- right at 1st base. I was positively giddy. and to make it a completely surreal day- you'll never guess who threw the first pitch!!!! **** JET LI **** !!!!!!!!!! I mean, I've had a crush on him for about 10 years! he was like, 10 feet away practicing his "first pitch" and I still can't believe it. What an incredible day.

Forbidden Commercialism?

2008-03-15T11:06:00.000-04:00

I'm in Starbucks at the moment, which is always slightly surreal to leave. I took the bus in to work this morning, which was actually kind of exciting (mostly that I got on the right bus and it took me where I wanted to go!)

So, the same night as the French juggler and Spring Cakes, I had the opportunity to look at some old pictures of Kemin's (my friend who is directing OLIVER) grandmother. She and her husband met at school, he a conductor and she a violinist. The husband went to Russia to study at the Tchaikovsky Academy and is now, sadly, deceased. but she did some Peking Opera (the pictures were amazing) and both she and her husband had been put in prison during the Cultural Revolution because of their music. It was pretty profound, looking at their young, hopeful faces, holding on to their violin and cello as though the future would be so bright. How could they know what they would have to go through? Very humbling.

So, I was already in a thoughtful mood when I went to the Forbidden City yesterday, even after passing a 5 story McDonalds. But back to the Palace... It was so crazy to think of who had walked over the ancient stones on the bridge to the, then impenetrable fortress. Imagine my shock then that is was not only overcome with tourists (I was prepared for that), but all the grotesque trappings of a tourist "destination". Cheap souvenirs, cameras, baseball caps...I mean really, Baseball caps???? And every 5 seconds someone was coming up trying to get us to go on a rickshaw ride in some Hutong. Sigh. where was the reverence? But I guess I understand it too, it's economy. sigh. It was impressive though, and a little eerie to be in Tiananmen Square. There were guards everywhere, shouting for people to, "move along"...of course they were shouting in Chinese :) So, we got back on the subway, and holy cow, the crush of people was worthy of Tokyo. there were "handlers" outside the subway doors to push people in before the doors closed. But finally I made it back to my bus back home to snuggle on the couch and read my new book (man, i love the bookworm- it's also a lending library!). Well, tomorrow is my singing gig and then Sunday is the Dodgers vs. Padres game. life is back to...um, normal...

Yin and Yang

2008-03-12T19:10:00.000-04:00

What an amazing two days. Different as could be. Yesterday everything seemed to go wrong:
a cab driver actually made me get out of his cab after I got in, then there was an awkward moment at work (honestly, office politics already???), there was a tremendous traffic jam, and walking to the bus stop a man said, "hello, how are you" in English, so I thought he wanted to practice his English. Nope, he wanted to sell me porn. Really! as I walked away he ran to catch up and was pulling dvds out of his jacket. sigh. so, I jumped into a cab and spent money i didn't have just to get away. Emotionally spent, I saw the pink ball of sunlight like an alien planet through the smog. I almost cried, but then I remembered that everything is part of the adventure. good and bad.

Today, on my way to OLIVER rehearsal, the bus dropped me off in front of a Ping Pong park!!! it was amazing. All these, mostly older, Chinese people battling it out in between rows of apartment buildings and a corrider of lovely trees, and surrounded by chain-link. Quite a site to behold. An ancient man passed me very slowly and smiled and nodded and everything seemed so perfect. I found Kemin's house (the director) and he and his very cute friend from South-Africa and I bought some ice cream from the shop and waited for the rest of the actors to show up. That started the "carnival" that was my evening.

It was great fun to work on a few characters and scenes for the play (i love this stuff) and then afterwards we went to Kemin's granny's house for dinner. they made "spring cakes" (kind of like a thicker "moo shoo pork", but totally different) to mark the beginning of spring. Kemin played Beethoven on the piano and I beat the South African twice at a board game similar to "connect four". :) Dinner was amazing, as usual, and then four more people came in who are in a Chinese Circus school!!! The girls are from Mexico, one boy is from Hungary (but lives in Austria) and the fourth was a sweet kid from France. Lively talk, good food, Chinese soap opera on the telly, and then Kemin got the French guy to juggle (WOW)- he is amazing!!!!!!

So, i wasn't surprised on the bus ride home when a girl got on with a bag of popcorn. The whole bus smelled of the "Fair" and we passed over a bridge where the canal was dotted with red lanterns which reflected in the water. I could catch glimpses of the moon half full, like it was about to spill and all was right with the world. :)

WORK, IMPROV, and a club called BLOCK8

2008-03-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

Today I started work at the hospital (Beijing United Family Healthcare), and they wanted to start a new English program with me as the instructor- and maybe to help with the customer service training they are trying to start. (the best news, though, is that they are taking care of my visa...) So, since people don't like "training", I made up the "English Language Hospitality Club"... what do you think?

I hope it goes well. at the moment I'm working about 6 hours per week starting in 10 days, but with some hour for preparation. It's so interesting with the cultural differences because the Chinese staff are very shy and even if they have problems, they would only say, "oh, everything is fine". So it will be a learning experience for me to on how to draw them out subtly. I think this hospital is going to be the main medical facility for the Olympics. What a crazy year this is here.

Tonight I went to an improv class near the drum and bell tower (such beautiful buildings!) and it was so cool. they did half of the games in Chinese (i was totally lost of course), but they were still really funny! Afterwards about 10 of us went to a little local place around the corner and got 7 plates of food, with everyone having a "40" size beer (except me because i don't like beer- which makes me a total alien in the expat community)- and the check came to about $25 USD.
wow. I expect the same prices at "Wasabi" when I get back!!! hm.

But the biggest news you will have to wait for, because I don't want to jinx it until I see a contract with my name on it. But i will tell you it has to do with a nightclub called block 8...http://www.block8.cn :) Beijing really is an amazing place.

THE PAVILLION

2008-03-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

One of Lidia's friends owns this club and they have a HUGE, red pool table. Which I lost on severely. Wine + Gin & Tonic = very bad pool game. (*don't worry dad, I'm not becoming an alcoholic...yet...)

The girl next to me, Eva, was a professional pool player who now works for a production company putting on events like the Rolling Stones and Backstreet Boys (but not together) :) ~ Her boyfriend we will just call "Crazy Todd"

#12 XIQOYING LU

2008-03-05T22:08:00.000-05:00

The building to the left is where I stay right now. The apartment is on the 5th floor. There are no 4th floors in any building in China- it's the number of death. No 13th floors either. Good to know. It's just near the 4th ring road and...wait for it...IKEA. :) so funny. Evidently on Friday and Saturday nights people go to the IKEA cafe on dates. Like it's fine dining!!! I can't wait to go!!!!

THE BOOKWORM

2008-03-04T22:21:00.000-05:00

This place was a lifesaver. It's an expat bookstore/coffee shop that has wireless and tons of amazing books. They are having a literary festival next week, and I'm going to volunteer for it!!! I get to take care of Christopher Koch who wrote, "The Year of Living Dangerously" which they made into a movie with Mel Gibson. And there will be some amazing talks by some incredible authors. Maybe I'll get inspired to actually be a writer one of these days...hm. http://www.beijingbookworm.com/

LLAMA TEMPLE

2008-03-04T21:05:00.000-05:00

If you take the #62 bus to the Yonghegong subway stop on 2nd Ring Road, you will see the Llama Temple. I haven't gone inside yet, but it's so beautiful, especially as the sun is going down. Today was a beautiful day with blue skies and sunshine (unlike the previous day when it was like walking through a cloud of smog...ugh)

TIBETAN RESTAURANT - YAK, YAK, YAK

2008-03-01T21:10:00.000-05:00

Lidia and Gan took me to a brilliant Tibetan restaurant with amazing food and a wonderful cultural show. I ate Yak jerky and mushrooms cooked in Yak butter!!!! actually really good! :) I'm starting to eat more spicy foods. Holy cow there are some HOT dishes here.

BEIJING BY NIGHT

2008-02-29T22:13:00.000-05:00

This night was my introduction to club "Alpha" and "'80s Night"!!!! There is nothing like dancing on a speaker to "Walking on Sunshine" and then walking out into Beijing!!!!! So surreal. I met a lovely French girl called Diane who does PR here. Everyone here definitely has a good story!

GOTTA LOVE THE EXPATS

2008-02-26T08:38:00.000-05:00

This is my friend Gordon. He's friends with Tommy, who is the guy I met in Georgia, who got me thinking about moving to Beijing in the first place. Gordon introduced me to a place called "The Rickshaw" where they have mad pool tournaments every Monday night. It's a hilarious bunch of American and British guys arguing about sports.

Cruisin'

2008-02-20T17:42:00.000-05:00

The sun came out while I was on Santa Monica Boulevard this morning and now I'm cruising the Miracle Mile. I just heard the most awesome radio commercial...too bad it was for In/Out burger. hm.

Next stop Mullholland Drive~ I used to go up there when I needed to get away from traffic and smog. SO beautiful and the smell of rain and Eucalyptus trees is so calming. The sun came out in the valley and made Ventura Blvd. sparkle (as it only can from a distance) and I thought of Paul Bonesteel- because I passed THREE Taco Trucks!!!!

Lunch at California Pizza kitchen and breakfast at Jerry's Deli will complete my culinary tour of America before getting on the plane tomorrow and flying into the unknown...

Sunset to Mullhollad

2008-02-20T17:22:00.000-05:00

Here we are at Mel's all american diner on Sunset Blvd. I figured I should take Robin's advice and eat a hamburger before going to China. This is my beautiful and brilliant friend Andrea Jones from high school (and unknown but very sweet cook who gave me a free caramel sundae!!). :)

I love this town- just passed the high school where they filmed GREASE and am now in a wicked cool coffee shop in Venice sitting across from the guy who played the lieutenant in Lethal Weapon.

So, who cares that it's a miserable, rainy day, or that I just wasted an hour for an unneeded trip to the airport (grrr- United..you are on my List!) but it's fascinating not having a phone. i have no idea what time it is and i can't shake this vague feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something other than enjoying the best caramel latte on the planet or the earnest political discussion to my right. Happily, there is an old hippie at another table with a Rasta hat and "impeach bush" shirt on who just invited me to a protest tomorrow. so, i don't feel too far from home after all...

Wow. there are some BEAUTIFUL people here- oooooh, especially that guy over there reading the paper (he just turned around and smiled at me!!!). my day just got exponentially better!!!

TACO TUESDAY

2008-02-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

So, the flight from Ashe-Vegas to Minneapolis was brilliant. Amazing sunrise- mountains silhouetted by stunning lines of pink and orange- and smooth flight.

From MN to LA however... sigh. let's not talk about it. let's just say I'm one xanax short...

When I used to live in LA, I found the best fish tacos in the universe! As soon as I got to here yesterday, I went right to Rubio's, and low and behold...it was Fish Taco Tuesday!!!! only $1

sweet!

it's a good thing I had sustenance, because it took me FOREVER to drive to my friend's house in horrendous traffic and rain. Thank goodness I remember how to get around here (well, roughly- i mean, people who live here don't always know how to get around this crazy town).